Saturday, December 20, 2014

Back Home And Grieving...

Today was supposed to be the day that our birth mom would sign relinquishment papers, and we would officially become the parents of a perfect little baby girl. After two days of caring for and watching over this baby who in our hearts was ours, we received a call yesterday morning shortly before 8am telling us that our birth mom had changed her mind and had decided to keep the baby and parent - our worst fears about this process realized. There is no recourse for us. The devastation, loss, anger, frustration, hopelessness, and sadness we are feeling right now is immeasurable. It is a suffering like we have never had to endure before, and we are now back at home and grieving – trying to figure out what to do next. We feel like we lost a baby. We feel like we have been had and cheated. We feel like we have been made fools of. We feel like we wasted other opportunities to become parents.  But most of all, we feel like we have wasted time, money, emotional investment, and compassion on this birth mom who revealed herself in just a few short days to be an entirely different person than the one who we got to know and cared for in the past five months.  We are beyond concerned for the life that has been chosen for this baby who we held, fed, nurtured, and loved in her first hours on Earth. When we finally feel up to the task, we will share the entire story of what has been some of the worst days we have ever had to face.  No doubt, what we have to say, will truly open your eyes about how the adoption process really can be, and often is like, for many many couples and individuals going through this.  Needless to say, there are no protections and not much beyond very basic and superficial support for the risks we assume.  Thank you all so much for the outpouring of love and excitement for us through this opportunity that we had to grow our family.  We wish we could have delivered you the good news you were hoping for.  We will update you all soon. 
~ Will & Adrienne